


I'll Crawl Home to You

by KidOmegaWasRight



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Vampire Slayer, Explicit Language, Gen, In which ford is a dumbass, M/M, Multi, and fiddleford has to deal with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-26 02:23:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15653805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidOmegaWasRight/pseuds/KidOmegaWasRight
Summary: Stanford "Ford" Pines is not the wisest man, especially when it comes to mysteries and the supernatural, so it shouldn't be a surprise when he comes home with a hole in his neck and fangs in his teeth, but boy is it disappointing. Especially when word gets around there's a vampire in Gravity Falls.





	I'll Crawl Home to You

Something Stanford Pines didn't expect was the pain. I mean, he should have suspected it, but he didn't. According to his ma, and… other people, for someone with such a high IQ, he didn't really think critically. He lacked common sense to do many things. Whether it be simple things like check if you have your keys before getting in the car to go somewhere, or more complex things like, if I get this vampire I just met to bite me, will it hurt? The answer to that one was a resounding yes. It felt like every cell in Ford's body was being torn apart only to be brought back together in a new way. He couldn't help but wonder through the pain if his DNA was actually changed, or if it just felt like it. If only he had saved some of his DNA from before the change! Then again, he didn't start the day excepting to end it as a vampire. That was more of a surprise. In fact, he expected nothing out of the norm to happen today. He was simply told to go to the store and get some more lettuce. Who would have known that along the way he would meet a vampire, and that after a few minutes of toying with killing said vampire, he would decide to instead let it bite him? No one, that's who would have known! These thoughts and similar ones are the things that Ford thought to steady himself during the teeth-to-neck part of the transformation. After kicking the vampire off of him after a good ten seconds of blood sucking, the thoughts that comforted him as the real transformation began goes a bit like what is written down below (go ahead and look!):  
"Oh, G-d, oh oh oh g-d, G-D. That- JEEZ- this hurts. Oh boy, OOH, BOY! Huh, huh. Okay I think I'm almost done. NOPE! Oh mother FUCKER! JESUS CHRIST JESUSSS! FUCKING! CHRIST! Oh oh, it's ending. I think? Okay… I think I handled that well!"  
Now that that was over with, came the really painful part: he would have to explain to Fiddleford why he did not get the lettuce.

My Guide to Vamps and other freaks! By [The handwriting is illegible.] Entry #45  
When traveling through India, I ran into legends of the Rakshasa! I didn't believe tales of this blood sucking ghoul when I first heard them, but I sure as hell believe them now! While near a Hindu temple, I saw a being disturbing and annoying the priest and worshippers! I couldn't sit by and let this happen, so I approached, and yelled at the creature. Imagine my surprise when they turned and had fangs! These creatures come in a variety of colors, but the one I saw was blue. I knew it had to be the Rakshasa I heard of, because of the long poisonous nails, and the horrendous smell. They shapeshifted into a bat and tried to escape, but I followed! Eventually, I pulled them down and we began to tussle! Avoiding their nails, I was impressed and disturbed by their strength. I remember the tale of the locals, that the Rakshasa's strength was powered by the night, and luckily, our tussle happened to be happening right as dusk started to appear! I thrusted the creature into the light, and felt their strength leave their body. I almost felt bad, but not quite, as I knocked them out! Ha ha, another vamp down!

Fiddleford wasn't the best boyfriend in the world, but lord almighty, no one deserves their lover coming home changed as Stanford Pines was. Looking back, once it was all said and done, Fiddleford wished that he could say that he knew at once that something was wrong. That Ford was definitely paler, that his eyes were red, that he moved too fast, or that his touch was strong and he gravitated towards veins, and maybe he did do all of those things at first, but Fiddleford simply didn't notice. What he did notice was that Ford was different. More emotional, somehow. (He would later find out that Ford had not eaten since his transformation, and his senses were just in tune to Fiddleford's human blood inside his veins). Ford rushed in and threw himself around Fiddleford, rubbing his face into Fiddleford's neck. Ford resist all temptation somehow, knowing deep down that vampirism wasn't a life Fiddleford necessarily wanted. Fiddleford pushed Ford away, and that's when he noticed everything, from the eyes, to the jerky movements, and surprising strength, Fiddleford could tell something was up, and he already did not like it.  
"Please," Fiddleford hissed, "tell me you didn't do something stupid."  
"Define stupid," Ford replied. He tried to smile but could tell he was in some serious trouble

My Guide to Vamps and other freaks! Entry #84  
I've been around the world and back. Been from one end to the other hunting vampires and other supernatural shit (funny it's called the super natural, because there is nothing natural about this stuff!) and I finally landed back in the good ol' U.S. of A. I left here around 5 years ago (hey journal, you remember entry #3 right? The Chupacabra? Ha, that goat sucker really made me sick, as we learned way back then, just because it's main target isn't humans doesn't mean you wanna make it a pet or look into its eyes! That sucker was hard to catch, and even harder to keep). The point is, I haven't been to North America since then, let alone the United States. But there's been rumors of sanguine vamps (fancy term for blood suckers) on the east coast. Some people in some town in Oregon reporting people missing, and animal carcasses. Sounds like a simple case. Get in, stakey-stakey, get out. Then be back away from America and the weird feelings I feel whenever I come here. This'll be simple, and nothing's gonna get in my way.


End file.
